Pretending
by Meova
Summary: Katniss has a lot to figure out after the Hunger Games, not in the least who she feels for. Does she love Gale, or Peeta? Well, there's only one way to find out, is there?


**A/N: So I finished The Hunger Games and Catching Fire and I'm in love with it. Like, totally. And I don't care if that makes me sound like a fangirl because I so am. And here's my first fanfic for this fandom! I'm not sure who I ship, KatnissxPeeta or KatnissxGale but this fic is for the first. It takes place after HG and disregards CF because I hadn't read that yet when I wrote this fic.**

**I do not own HG. I wish I did since it's a work of pure brilliance.  
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**Read and review, please, I would like every piece of concrit I can get. Flames will be used for Katniss' new dress, because I've a feeling that in the third book she'll be needing one.

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It had been a rough month for Katniss.

It's not like she wasn't used to the acting, not that. She had acted her entire life, not in the least during her time in the Arena.

But now, to keep up the acting, feel that Peeta was still hurting, feel her own confusion, and keep up the façade... It was nearly impossible.

And that wasn't even all, either.

The Hunger Games were over, she had been healed and was now supposed to go on with her life, and she was perfectly able to. However, the cameras from the Capitol were following her every move. They were cleverly hidden but her hearing was good. She could hear the soft whirr every time she left the house, sometimes even inside of her house. It pissed her off, that they breached Prim's and her mother's privacy so bad. She didn't care much about her own.

The only time the cameras wouldn't, couldn't follow her was when she was out, hunting with Gale. It wouldn't give the audience a proper image if they would see her breaking the law, going outside of the fence. So she did that as much as was possible, and Gale didn't question her, happy with the company.

After the Games, they had picked up their friendship where it had left off, yet it had never been exactly the same to them. Gale had, of course, followed everything (it's not like he couldn't have) and he had been less than amused by her and Peeta's acting.

But if they didn't talk about it, it hadn't happened. Or so they liked to pretend, anyway.

Now, the day was coming to an end, and they were cleaning up their game. They had caught a few squirrels, two rabbits, and the guts were already surrounding them.

'What d'you think, would the baker's wife be home?' Gale asked. Katniss paled at the mentioning of Peeta's mother. Gale noticed that and apologized immediately.

'I'm sorry, Catnip, I forgot.'

He didn't seem very sorry. She didn't reply, but packed the game up and started walking back to the fence, knowing he would follow her.

'Catnip! Wait for me!' He hurriedly picked up the roots and berries they had collected and ran after her. 'What's wrong with you lately?' When he had reached her, he shook her by the shoulders. And, she couldn't really help herself. She was so sick and tired of being confused. So she kissed Gale.

He, surprised, pushed her away.

'What was that for?' He was stunned.

'Something,' she said vaguely. She had things to think through. So she said goodbye to Gale – who went off with most of the game, she wouldn't let him go without at least the squirrels – and went home.

Slipping underneath the fence, she immediately picked out the familiar whirr of the camera. They'd found her again. She carefully put her face in an emotionless mask and got home as soon as was possible. The rest of the day was spent thinking.

Had she gotten the same spark from kissing Gale as from kissing Peeta?

No.

Did this actually mean anything?

She debated long and hard about this and in the end, the answer (what else could it have been?) was yes. It did.

She wouldn't actually mention it, or even acknowledge it for all that matters, but buying Prim's goat wasn't her best memory anymore. It now was that first real kiss, between her and Peeta, during the Hunger Games.

If she happened to wake up from her old nightmare, in which her dad died, she no longer called for him to run. She called for Peeta to help her. She actually missed his comforting warmth next to her. No, she didn't miss having to take care of him, but she did miss everything else.

And truth be told? She wasn't sure if she still really was acting whenever they were together.

But of course, there was no way to tell him. She didn't have pen and paper to send him a message, she couldn't walk to him and tell him, not with all the cameras rolling. If she was willing to put through with this, she'd have to do it a little bit more subtle.

Could she do subtle?

Probably not.

But she had to.

Katniss fell asleep, curled up in her own bed, wishing she wasn't.

Weeks passed without many things happening. She and Gale went out hunting, just to pass the time. They strictly didn't need to do it any longer. Peeta stayed away from her most of the time, meeting up with her occasionally to keep up their pretence. Katniss hoped so badly it wasn't just a pretence for him, but what say did she have in that? He had all the right in the world to not still love her, after she had basically rejected him. And so cruelly, too!

Finally, the day arrived when they had to go around the districts, for their victory ceremonies. Peeta was as distant as he could be while still holding up the façade, and Katniss was wondering if she could ever break the news to him. Who knew how long the cameras would stay?

They started at district 1 without ever having actually spoken to each other on the train. Cinna had turned her, once again, in some beautiful model which seemed far away from the real Katniss, and she couldn't wait for Peeta to see her. Maybe this was her chance.

He did see her, and while his eyes sparkled his face remained emotionless. There were no cameras for once, he could afford it. He offered her his hand.

'Ready to go, sweetheart?'

The nickname stung her even worse than the tracker-jackers had, most of all the cold tone in which he said it. She merely nodded, not trusting her voice.

Up the stage they went, holding hands, pretending to be the desperately in love couple that had managed to beat the Gamekeepers. Everyone was buying it. It's not like Katniss really had to try hard by now.

District by district went by, and as the numbers became higher, the districts became more genuine in their love for them. By the time they had reached District 11, there was nothing but love and kindness, probably because Katniss and Rue had teamed up together, and what Katniss had done afterwards.

However, Katniss still hadn't had a chance to tell Peeta anything she wanted him to know. He was carefully keeping his distance, and while she would've preferred that before now she hated it. In fact, she had started to enjoy the moments on stage and actually looked forward to it because it would mean that Peeta would kiss her, be nice to her, pretend to be in love.

She hoped so badly it wasn't just pretending.

But now, on their way to their district, it was her final chance. She couldn't ruin it. The cameras, they might be gone soon, and if they were, he would stay away from her. She didn't want that.

She made her decision. Laying in bed as she was, she knew this was her last chance. Tomorrow they'd be back in their home district and they would never be separated again by only a thin wall. That's right, he was in the room right next to her.

She slipped out of her bed and silently got dressed.

His door was locked, wouldn't you know it. And footsteps were coming nearer. Katniss prepared herself to jump back in her own room if necessary, then saw that the person heading down the hallway was Haymitch. He spotted her immediately, smiling briefly. He walked on, and Katniss swore she saw something glister on the ground where he had been standing still for only a few seconds.

It was a key, the key to Peeta's door. Where had he gotten it? How did he know she had needed it?

It didn't matter, she had it. She would ask him all those questions later. For now, she settled for opening the door and sitting down on Peeta's bed. He didn't wake.

She stayed there all night, watching him sleep like she had done so many times before. When the sun started to rise, he finally stirred and she started to feel uneasy. How would he react if he found her here?

He sighed once, and mumbled her name.

What?

Had she heard that correctly?

His eyes opened and locked on hers. She wouldn't look away. Yet another impulsive action, she bent down and kissed him on the forehead.

'What was that for?' he asked, the same thing as Gale had asked so many days before. She smiled, but looked around quickly in search of cameras. There weren't any she could see. Still, caution was needed, so she bended closer to him to whisper in his ear:

'I think I love you.'

His smile wavered.

'There are no cameras around. I disabled them all. You don't have to act.'

'I'm not acting.'

He opened his mouth to reply again but she kissed him, making him unable to talk.

'Look me in the eyes and tell me that I'm lying,' she told him after they had broken apart. 'I think I love you.'

He couldn't find a trace of the lies he had been expecting, she could see that.

'Why did you wait so long?' he breathed, lifting his hand to cup her face. She let out a laugh.

'Like you gave me an opportunity.'

He patted on the bed, and she got in next to him. His warmth next to her calmed her, like it had done so often before during the Games. Several minutes passed before he talked again.

'So we're not pretending anymore?'

'Guess we're not.' She shrugged. 'Does it even matter?'

'It matters for us.'

The whirr was back. They had installed another camera in his room. She gave him a lingering kiss, which served as enough warming.

'We're going to get through this, are we?' he asked, suddenly worried. Katniss squeezed his hand reassuringly.

'Yeah we are.' She thought a bit before adding something she was fully intending to be the last thing she said in this room.

'For us.'

She held up their linked hands.

'For them.'

She looked up.

'For you.'

She kissed him.


End file.
